I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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