I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
