Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
