Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
