So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
