just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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