Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
