Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
