Only a mothe r could love this liver
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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