just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
