try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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