allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
