Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
