I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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