I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
