Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
