is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
