ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize