I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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