You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
