we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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