My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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