I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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