how do flat chested girls get laid?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
