I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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