YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I pour the whiskey from now on
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
