If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
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