Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wish you could order shots online.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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