sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
