Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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