I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I still have a little drunk in my system
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
