another moral hangover. fuck.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
