Pants 0. Shit 1.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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