it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
