Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
