You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
