I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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