you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
