1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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