AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
