yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
