Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize