Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
