I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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