He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
