I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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