Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
