guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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