Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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