Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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